A few months ago we shared a Weekly TRUTH that addressed the complex relationship that we each sometimes have with the notion of “truth.” Quite often, especially when the chasm between what we wish to be and what is, becomes so great that we avoid hearing the truth altogether.
Hence the age-old adage: “Ignorance is bliss.” (Which is a lie, by the way.)
The “truth about the Truth” as we previously described, is that the frequent discomfort it causes is matched only by its’ indispensability, and that only in embracing Truth (especially in the Person of Christ), does one find the path to a life of purpose, joy and greatness.
This charge came back to me recently during a church homily in which the preacher raised the issue of “conforming” to Truth. I thought that was an interesting idea. Frankly, I thought to myself, when he says conform, does he mean surrender? And where (or when) does the embracing come in?
And what does all of this mean anyway? Then a real-world example came to mind: Research abounds about the higher divorce rates (as in 50% more likely) among couples who co-habit before marriage. Ironically, those who wait to move in together until marriage report lower rates of divorce.
And these stats are consistent across the economic spectrum.
Why is this? It definitely goes against the prevailing attitude of our popular culture: move in together and see how it goes. Test before you buy.
Secular scientists can theorize ad nauseam; but the answer is really no mystery.
Why do couples who live apart before their nuptials experience longer, more stable and joyful marriages?
Quite simply, they’ve surrendered (to Truth, that is, letting go of self-will, thus keeping selfishness in check).
In this case, the Truth in question is God’s design for the marital vocation, which does not involve co-habitation (“Testing” still plays a role: it’s called “dating” while living chastely.).
And after surrendering to this Truth, the couple then conforms to it, by living separately and chastely.
What comes next, after marriage (besides kids, hopefully): a joyful embracing of Truth, even during difficult times.
So the question above is not either-or…it’s what comes first. When surrender authentically occurs, conformity follows, and in-so doing, the Truth sets us free. Why? Because we’re following the truth when making decisions using principles and virtue that do not change.
How do we know? We know because humans flourish when surrendering to Truth. The result to look for is more simplicity, goodness, and beauty, not less.